what is life?

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

today i woke up, thinking what life is all about?

the past few days i had a talk, discussing what kind of planning..i mean life planning that i have for myself. to be honest? nil. not a solid one. a rough sketch? yes. but a definite and perfect one? no.

and that makes me realize, we can't just simply plan our whole life when u just don't know how to picture yourself after 20 years time. what i really want in this life? i have no idea. maybe i just lost it somewhere. tertinggal di mana-mana.

in 2010, i have slowly construct my own mindset. but unfortunately along the way, it was all destroyed due to too many reasons. but the main rootcause was; because i dont have that strong and bold personality. my personality is changeable. according to situation if it is affecting people. unconscious self-sacrificing. or too diplomatic in a very bad way.

i am really a peaceful phlegmatic person at heart. sigh.

right now, everytime i go to sleep i will give myself a moment. to think. what kind of day i would like myself to have tomorrow? what can i do to improve myself in anyway? what can i give to other people so that i can always make myself helpful for others around me. in other way, to keep me independent at all times.

when we become the giver, we will be less dependent. because that needs us to be more proactive, taking out  more responsibilities, learning how to control situations, forces us to think in a different way. looking at all the possible angles.verifying back all the consequences for all the decisions we take.

in simple explanation; we learned how to plan, do, act and checking back in the right and correct way. (supposedly). this what i do recently. to improve myself.

and what i should do next; is to create back my life planning. theoretically, by using the house construction diagram.

well, at this age im pretty sure i know what i want. it is just i need to properly construct them back. i think im in my comfort zone already. i need to get out of it now.

A Song For You

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Dear Sister,

Yesterday, You told me about the stages in ukhuwwah,

It was the very first thing i learned when i joined this circle called 'happy family' 

back in 2006.

Thank you for reminding me about the forgotten tale,

That a sahabah is someone who will not only  stay by your side,

when needed..

But also a someone,

who constantly reminding you when you forget things you shouldn't,

A person who can sings back the song to you,

when you have forgotten the lyrics,

Someone who will shed tears for you,

Not because of pity..

but because she could also feel the pain and heavy feelings you have inside,

even when you haven't told her yet..

Who will be in deep sorrow,

 when your path sometimes goes astray,

But all in all,

a true friend, is someone who never fails to remember  you,

in everything she do,

in every prayer she recites,

in every moment she lives,

you're there inside her heart..

even with countless sacrifices she made,

she'll never remind you back,

because for her,

your happiness and lite up face,

has given her the indescribable happiness..

in life..

thank you for the unconditional love, that only family could've give..

So i sing this song as a memory
Close your eyes listen to this
Sing along, can you remember me? oh yea
This was for you a long time back
And its still for you, today i stand
where the stars shine for you

And everything that went away
Let them all go away
cause i am here for you today

Close your eyes
Listen to me
Listen to the song that i wrote for you
You know its true
That i am here for you
All i want is for you to be here with me

So i sing this song for you and me
Close your eyes listen to this
Sing along, now can you see? oh yea 


This was for you all my life
And its still for you, today i stand
where i sing for you


ps: this one is also for every person who holds special place in my heart..a promise not to be forgotten..