in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful
today i woke up, thinking what life is all about?
the past few days i had a talk, discussing what kind of planning..i mean life planning that i have for myself. to be honest? nil. not a solid one. a rough sketch? yes. but a definite and perfect one? no.
and that makes me realize, we can't just simply plan our whole life when u just don't know how to picture yourself after 20 years time. what i really want in this life? i have no idea. maybe i just lost it somewhere. tertinggal di mana-mana.
in 2010, i have slowly construct my own mindset. but unfortunately along the way, it was all destroyed due to too many reasons. but the main rootcause was; because i dont have that strong and bold personality. my personality is changeable. according to situation if it is affecting people. unconscious self-sacrificing. or too diplomatic in a very bad way.
i am really a peaceful phlegmatic person at heart. sigh.
right now, everytime i go to sleep i will give myself a moment. to think. what kind of day i would like myself to have tomorrow? what can i do to improve myself in anyway? what can i give to other people so that i can always make myself helpful for others around me. in other way, to keep me independent at all times.
when we become the giver, we will be less dependent. because that needs us to be more proactive, taking out more responsibilities, learning how to control situations, forces us to think in a different way. looking at all the possible angles.verifying back all the consequences for all the decisions we take.
in simple explanation; we learned how to plan, do, act and checking back in the right and correct way. (supposedly). this what i do recently. to improve myself.
and what i should do next; is to create back my life planning. theoretically, by using the house construction diagram.
well, at this age im pretty sure i know what i want. it is just i need to properly construct them back. i think im in my comfort zone already. i need to get out of it now.
one thing is, you keep planning, but the action is less. thats the main problem actually. walk the talk. walk the plan.not just keep planning. be proactive.
ReplyDeleteyeah. i know. tapi planning pun crucial jugak. u dont just go fire-fighting wo knowing the root cause. easier said than done kan? u know it yourself how hard it is to change.
ReplyDeletetanya hati. senang ke susah? especially when u try to change and nobody giving the u support u need.