the abnormality

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

sibuk membaiki diri..terlupa menyiram hati sendiri. sibuk membaiki diri demi dunia, terlupa hakikat pengabdian diri pada Allah itu harus mencakupi segala aspek kehidupan.

Ya Allah,

Ingatkan aku di kala aku lalai,
Tarik tanganku di saat langkahku tersasar dari landasan yang telah Engkau tetapkan,

Ya Allah,

Aku bukan siapa-siapa di mataMu,
Aku cuma hamba yang miskin, lemah dan serba kekurangan,

Tetapi aku pohon cuma satu ya Allah,

pandanganMu untuk ku tak pernah hilang,

I cant lie to myself. And this is killing me inside. sigh..

apa yang mampu aku jawab di hadapanMu nanti andai Engkau bertanyakan tentang segala nikmat yang telah diberikan Mu, Tuhanku?...

frustration is nil now.

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

*tiup habuk.

hm...nampak gayanya page ni dah berhabuk. sangat. and i have lost my touch in writing. lost it all. i have something in mind, but couldn't write it down in a constructive manner. maybe i should just write it down in my red velvet book.

*kecewa. sebab tak dapat menulis. lagi.

ps: kalau dalaman pun kering dan perlu disiram. lupakan hasrat untuk menyiram dan membasahi hati-hati di luar sana. hati sendiri lebih crucial untuk dijaga terlebih dahulu.

pss: even if you still dont have faith in me, it doesnt matter now. because i know He sees it. and i know He knows up to the microscopic level how much effort i have poured for this and still giving my best to change. as long as i know He still give me chances, believe in me and know i have changed, it doesn't matter even if nobody have faith in me.

sebab hidup ini demi Dia. (sepatutnya) and that guidance given is appreciated. cuma mungkin expectation terlalu tinggi within limited time?