if I just lay here, would you lay with me and just forget the world?...

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

along the way, I started to feel I need to move myself out from this very same loop..

the out of box life threatening question..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Yesterday my fav brother asked me one question. "how do you know what you wanna do in life?". I was surprised by the question.

Because honestly? I dont have the structured and direct answer. If I know the real truth how..I would have gone somewhere and not living in Malaysia. Probably living somewhere outside, doing what I really want to do the most.

But no. I am still here, routing my journey just so that I will finally soon realize what I want to do in life. Routing and navigating. And even sometimes I do make some u-turns.

Nowadays I have problems understanding people and their needs. And due to the eagerness of answering the popped out question, I made sort of so-called 'fairy tales' answer; "ask your heart.."

You will probably think that I am just another hopeless romantic girl that live with all the wonders and magical events that life could offers.

* this is the mumbling part* Literally, yeah I might be one. But if you could read between the lines, that is not what I mean in the first place.

Okay back to the question; Sometimes, we can't just figured out everything using all the practical knowledge we have in us.

I don't have the real answer..I don't even know what is the right answer for that..the only one who can help is Him..He'll give you the answer if you asked Him..maybe not through me, maybe through someone else. Or maybe through an event in your life...maybe through your thinking..

• We can plan everything in our life. From plan A to Z..but if things don't go our way, it means He wants us to learn something else first, or probably that is just not the best planning because He has something more for us.

• Remember to always leave some portion that He has the final decision for us in our life. Redha, pasrah dan tawakkal..these are the three words that we always fail to understand their true meaning..

• Even in statistic, we rarely give 100 for confident interval. The most is 99. Practically it is always 95% on whatever calculation, improvement or forecasting that we make. There will always be chances of failing or the needs to re-routing from the current journey that we are living through now..unless we are just too lazy to leave our comfort zone..it can be 100 then..

ps: I am not making this entry to answer anybody's question..

posted from Bloggeroid

Key Point #1: How much have you done to make your parents happy?

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

As salam and Good Morning bloggers!

Yesterday was really worth spending. Well, the time that you spend with your family is indeed invaluable. It has been quite a hectic week for me previously because I need to expedite the containment and reworked process just so all the stranded units for delivery can be delivered to customers soonest. 

Giving the responsibility to rectify all the damages done due to improper process control, it really takes alot from me. Not that I'm complaining because I need to do all those dirty works too like the operators but because I am not that fit and athletic, and before long after I had my shower, prayer and dinner I could easily fall asleep within 5 secs! Thus, has changed my routine entirely. I even started to feel like I have becoming a zombie. Going to work without even thinking and planning properly the whole day.

However, I am not planning to let myself trap in this loop forever. Definitely. It is going to last the most up to two weeks only. (Well, there is another unit to be rectified too!).

Okay, back to the main point of existence of this entry, for every minutes spent yesterday got me thinking and made me asking myself about life that I am living now.

Key Point #1: How much have you done to make your parents happy?

Yesterday I was not going back to my parents house. I was going back to my kampung (village) together with my best-estfriend because we're going to have sorta small eat-together ( that is what my mom said previously) with the whole big family. Not only siblings from my mom's side. But also including my grandma's brothers' families.

And apparently, it wasn't actually small. It was a sort of Kenduri Doa Selamat, Yassin & Tahlil where you also called your neighbours and we had about in total almost a hundred guests! (excluding the kids, mind you)

 Inaccurate info ma.. *geleng kepala.

Okay, so after the lunch ended, all of us were having our own sweet time resting ourselves wherever applicable around the house. I was siting in front of the tv watching something that I was not actually paying any attention of when suddenly I realized that my dad was sleeping soundly not so near besides me.

I was looking at him for about one or two minutes, busy scrutinizing his greyish-turned-to-white hair and finely visible wrinkles around his eyes and cheeks, then something came out of my mind.

"How old is abah now?..erm...50 something? nearly a pensioner for few more years..".., I thought.

And I came to realization that how fast time flies..

"How long have I been working now..?..2 years..and what did I do to repay him and mak back?...", My expression turned a bit sour.

When the second question struck me, I was totally speechless..

Apart from still being financially unstable, I was not also able to give them my time..up until now..


I only had 10 solid years  living with them while the rest of 16 years were incomplete because there were times where I had to live apart from them. 

When I was still studying, I thought that I could repay them back by spending my time with them, do everything they asked me to, providing them things that I should as a child.

But after graduating, I still find it hard to be there with them as I planned earlier.

And what makes my heart breaks is that I still haven't done anything significant to repay them back while they're still giving me the same care, time, unconditional love, timeless advice and wisdom as parents.

Then I realized that this coming Ramadhan might be the last Ramadhan for us..

 So today, I decided to really change my routine and try to spend as much time available with them. Because apparently, each secs left is irreplaceable and I might not have much time left with them anymore..