~.the unwavering faith.~

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

a blissful weekend to starts with and hopefully til the end. recently, i came across this one old song. once a number one hits. "tears in heaven by eric clapton". it is a very beautiful song. indeed.

at first when i looked at the official video clip (as per claimed in youtube) and compared the lyrics, i knew there is more beyond the love between a man and a woman as shown in the clip. that is when i learned the real story about this song (i know...ketinggalan zaman gile kan? better late than never~)



this remind me of my late brother. i really miss him though. always. i guess until the last breath, i will still miss him. al fatihah.

like eric clapton, i guess that song has been my special favorite song ever besides this one (arwah's favorite song). i used it as message ringtone personalized for my parents.




ps: hopefully i can sing it with my dearest brother while he plays the guitar..one day. ;)

2011, a look back. 2012, a step forward..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

As salam.

*smile.

ahem..it has been a while since i posted my last entry. when was it? yeah, in 20 something December (pardon my broken English.) there are so many things that i wanted to share. but come to think about it, it would be preferable if i just keep it in my personal journal. (call me outdated, but i still prefer this outdated way of keeping important memoirs, events and knowledge) you can't just simply share everything to public. i would rather share them with selective people, in which i get to choose them myself. Because those people are definitely people that are important and close to my heart. thus, forever my sweethearts. insya Allah.

Actually I have stop writing ever since i got to know this blogging thing. however, it turned out to be more crap written than beneficial knowledge. and sometimes they get too personal. macam share tentang what really happen between you and your significant other. lepas tu get mushy and lovey dovey feelings. LOL. but hey, that was during my early years! 

I will definitely never write that kind of thing again in my blog! sigh. 

twenty eleven was a challenging year for me. that was when i started my career, learn to stabilize and balancing my life. it wasn't easy. very stressful indeed. i've shed tears for so many times. for so many reasons. and mostly due to working life. (cengeng kan? nak buat guane..) but that was the best way to release the pressure inside. 

that was the year where i learned a lot bout love, appreciation, friendship and bonding. twenty ten, i made many friends but none of them really stay. not that i blame them because apparently people come and go in our life. but we decided which one that should stay beside us. forever.

and none of them were chosen. 

no. i am not being arrogant or perhaps egocentric. it is not that easy to find someone that fit us. wholly. some people, we can talk about this stuff. but not the other stuff. or they don't listen well. they tend to hear, most of the time. heh. (and i did that too sometimes! sebab penatlah menjadi pendengar setia without being acknowledged. at least)

back to the topic, my twenty eleven ended even though not in a very good way (because i didn't manage to pass the level i put on myself previously in the early months that year) masih terkejar-kejar lagi sana sini. still frowning and sweat the small stuff. T_T . my bad. but i got  very special presents from Him. 

kawan baik yang jauh di mata kembali di sisi. dan kehadiran adik yang sangat istimewa di hati. dan itu telah melengkapi sebahagian kehidupan saya. and i decided to make them stay in my life. forever. insya Allah.

jadi, 2012 ini akan dimulai dengan beberapa perancangan. personal and working life. both. just to ensure smoother self-development and gear-up my performance's speed. nah, saya tak akan terangkan dengan terperinci di sini. this is going to be a platform of my summary of what had happened to me. 

ps: thank you for the encouragement to jot down/write up important things in journal. very much appreciated!

pss: please forgive my ignorance. i am bad in explaining my true feelings and insensitive about  small things and minor details. but you guys definitely are special and important people in my life! sumpah. tak tipu. *senyum. 

one of the unforgettable moment in 2011  *wink.

the unspoken tale

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Alhamdulillah. The answers finally known. Whether they're really true or not, only God knows. But whatever it is, I regard that as honest answers.

Thank you for finally revealed it to me. Thank you for finally telling all those unspoken tale. That even though it won't change anything every now and then, but it clarifies everything that I have in mind all these while.

At least, I know I was sane during that moment. Pretty sure that I was okay too.

I know it was hard to forget. Especially when you've spend so much time knitting the future together. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason. And for whatever reason, I am pretty sure it was the best. For us, both.

He promised us something better if we're patient enough. At least I could still laugh and smile when I chatted with my-used-to-be-significant other. I guess I am okay with it now. Wholly. Truthfully.

No more regrets. 

Again, alhadulillah.

from me to You

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Will get back to you soon..too many stories to tell, too little time to write them all.. only one word that could best describe my feeling...and that is BLISSFUL and BLESSED.

Alhamdulillah..

life isn't perfect for me either. but still, i see the perfection in whole picture. one of my bestfriend said; the 360 view.

"Dan nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?..."

untitled III

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

I am in the state of trying to rationalize myself and find good reasons of why sometimes people act the way that we find it really hard to understand.

It is like you're trying to complete a puzzle without having to see the whole picture! Agreed that the best solution is transparency and direct communication. But to initiate that in the first place requires strong guts. And I am not the hard-headed person (unless being provoked). This is where the real problem lies. I guess.

mane pergi perangai keras kepala, degil dan kuat melawan dulu tu ye? i need them back badly! sheesh~

Happiness part II

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

1433H

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

As salam.

Alhamdulillah. Tahun baru Hijrah sudah memunculkan diri. 1433H. Bermakna sudah lebih 1433 tahun Al-Quran menjadi manual cinta dan kehidupan manusia.

Untuk saat dan ketika ini, pada usia suku abad jika ditilik dan dibelek-belek, hidup saya tidaklah sesempurna mana. Kalau dibuka semula karangan wishlist daripada tahun sudah, berjela-jela panjangnya lagi harapan dan impian yang belum tertunai.

Rumah = masih menyewa

Kereta = masih menggunakan kereta Bonda

Gaji = masih belum mencecah 5k. Not even closer.

Lagi?

Ahh..terlalu banyaklah lagi yang masih belum tercapai walaupun usia hari demi hari berlalu dengan pantas. Semakin hampir dengan kubur. (bunyi macam dah tua, tapi ini hakikat..setiap saat yang berlalu bermakna semakin hampirnya kita pada tempat tinggal sementara kita itu, right?)

Tapi walaupun impian masih banyak yang belum tertunai (mungkin patut sertai pertandingan Sejuta Impian. ambil shortcut) tapi hati tetap rasa puas.

Life is more than just achieving something, it is also about enjoying every bits and pieces of it wholly.

Sekurang-kurangnya, saya masih tetap boleh pulang ke rumah ayah bonda setiap hari. Walaupun itu bermakna terpaksa melalui 45 minit perjalanan ulang-alik daripada rumah sewa/pejabat. Dan itu pun selalunya saya 'cut it short' aje bila-bila mahu ke 35 atau 30 minit.

Walaupun diakui, penat itu berganda jika  berulang-alik dari rumah ayah bonda setiap hari ke pejabat, tapi ajaibnya rasa itu hilang saat saja melihat wajah ayah bonda. Biarlah betapa banyaknya kerja di pejabat belum habis atau betapa bertimpa-timpanya masalah di sana, ia hilang bagai angin lalu.

begitulah significantnya ayah bonda dalam hidup saya.

Atas sebab itu, saya terlalu bersyukur kerana masih diberi peluang untuk menikmati hidup bersama mereka sehingga ke detik ini.

dan harap-harap mereka tetap di tangga teratas carta cinta hati saya sampai kapan pun. Biarpun saya sudah beranak cucu nanti.

Insya Allah.