Welcome December!

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Salam.

Where do I start? After the one week plus holidays, I ended up having a fever, a flu cum sore throat symptoms and a dehydrated body; thanks to my day out on Tuesday.

Well, in another perspective, I am taking it as a self purity process from Him. Sakit itu kan penghapus dosa? While taking my resting day today, I was reading a book by Lois P. Frankel titled:

NICE GIRLS DONT GET THE CORNER OFFICE101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers.

Then, the these two phrases hit me off:

"We behave in ways consistent with the roles we were socialized to play, thereby never completely moving from girlhood to womanhood."

"When we try to break in of those roles and act in more mature, self actualizing ways, we are often met with subtle and not-so-subtle resistance designed to keep us back in a girl role. Comments like, "You are so cute when you are mad", "What's the matter, are you on the rag?" are designed to keep us in the role of a girl.

I have encountered those two comments so often during my working days that it sometimes did succeed in making me feeling so pampered and not being as I was expected to be. At least during working days.

Until I met my Bestfriend. Thank you very much for teaching me to be firmed and patiently coaching me so that I can be a grown up and not someone else's lil girl.

It is indeed a very tough situation.

Anyway, December is already here. Indicating twenty twelve is almost ends. And twenty thirteen will be coming up very soon.

And as the time goes by, I am starting to feel the pressure myself. Time is flying. But yet, I am still in the midst of nowhere yet. Be it in terms of career and love life.

Ouch.

I don't know why, but it seems like every person I met is like waiting for me to start the first move. Duh. Not man enough, or am I too scary??

My bestfriend said, I am kind of girl with high expectation. And that is so obvious. But I have tried to tone down during the first meeting.

Takkan nak kena berborak pasal benda yang girly? Or romantic stuff? Mmm..Or acting cute? Err..That is soo not me.

Maybe they are not the one. Pass.

 Anyway, I am still not giving up. And started to like the-sort-of-blind dates. Menarik jugak. Get to know new people kan?


This month is full of positive vibrations. Alhamdulillah.

Can't wait for another year to come. ;)

Bi iznillah.

50% Done.

I can never have a peaceful working time on Saturday. Ade aje orang datang mengacau. A curse in disguise?

Pfft..

isu di Gaza

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Usai membaca tentang peristiwa yang sedang berlaku di Gaza sana. Masih diserang. Dan berapa ramai yang terkorban, majoritinya adalah kanak-kanak dan wanita serta orang awam yang tidak bersalah.

Membuka halaman tweeter; Beribu tweet mengingatkan tentang sengsara rakyat di sana. Sebetulnya saudara seagama walau tidak sedarah daging. Melayari facebook; Berbagai reminder ditampal di dinding facebook. Berbicara tentang kepentingan mengingati betapa pentingnya pemboikotan barang-barang makanan dan produk US yang dipercayai menyalurkan dana untuk Israel.

Dan saya tersenyum membaca status adik kesayangan tentang isu pemboikotan ini yang bermusim.

Betullah katanya itu.

Saya bersetuju. Ia bermusim. Seketika bila mana isu ini reda, maka semua orang akan seolah-olah lupa tentang boikot. Macam biasa; "Oh kfc? Makan aje."

Saya tidak menentang sesiapa yang berasa patut untuk memboikot. Sila lah jika setakat itu saja yang mampu kamu lakukan. Memboikot. Tapi, pastikan kita berada di atas satu landasan kukuh. Punya alasan kukuh kenapa dan mengapa kita lakukan perkara ini. Bukan sekadar ikut-ikutan.

Sebelum memboikot; Pastikan dulu ekonomi kita ini betul-betul kukuh. Langsung tak bergantung kepada mana-mana kuasa besar untuk hidup. Boleh kau pastikan ini dulu sebelum bercakap tentang boikot?

Kalau setakat boikot, tapi taraf ekonomi masih belum cukup kuat, and I bet even worse(?) eversince Tun M letak jawatan; kau nak cakap apa? (you can shoot me if I am wrong.) And no. Am not a pro Tun M fanatical fan.

Second thing; think about what will happened to all those people yang bekerja untuk produk-produk yang kau boikot. They are mostly muslims. Are you going to make them jobless because of your campaign? Can you provide them with jobs after that?

Perkara ketiga ( bahasa bercampur kerana ter-emo, harap maaf); Just look at ourselves first. Have we become the best we should as a moslem? Mind you, I did not use Mu'meen because that is far above the level for ordinary people like us.

If we can not still live our life as a moslem fully; we will never succeed in fighting Israelites forces and army. 

So, Fight with your lust/ shahawah first. We call it mujahadah in Islam.The Western call it Self Improvement. Bina kekuatan diri dahulu. Kemudian bina keluarga pula. Dan baru keluar kepada masyarakat. Para aktivis dakwah cukup faham dengan konsep ini.

 Orang MLM pun guna konsep yang sama. I have found one talking about this; but sadly he can only preach without practising it as in the religion. Manusia, biasalah. Ambil mana nampak untung. Yang rasa susah, tolak tepi walau pun wajib. That shows the level. (Reminding myself too.)

Saya memang tak akan mengulas isu Gaza dengan secara formal. Korang boleh baca di mana-mana web. Berlambak berita. Pilih saja. Tak perlu untuk saya ulas lanjut.

Yang ingin saya ulas ialah tentang kita. Orang Malaysia, tipikal Melayu, Muslim. Bermusim boikotnya. Tak semua, saya tahu. Tapi majoriti. 

Keinsafan pun bermusim. Campak satu majlis hiburan; name it. AIM sebagai contoh. Eh? Lupa terus pada isu di Gaza. heh. Iman kita umat Islam zaman sekarang ni lebih dahsyat daripada rollercoaster. Naik turunnya  cepat sangat!

Allah, ini ke yang diharapkan untuk menjadi pejuang Islam? I beg to differ. 

Anyway,

Sebetulnya kecewa dengan diri sendiri.  

Sebab tak mampu untuk membantu selain hanya berdoa. Tak mampu untuk membantu selain menulis di dinding-dinding facebook. Tak mampu untuk mengubah apa-apa selain hanya mampu melihat dan membaca setiap laporan berita yang dikemaskini.

I feel useless.

Sangat.

Ada akal, tak dapat menyumbang.

Ada tenaga, tersimpan saja.

Hanya doa. Doa dan doa yang mampu dikirim.

Buat masa ini.

But I do hope to do more, in the near future.

Bi iznillah.

yes, it's Friday.

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Intro

Hari ini appointment tidak jadi. Kerana last minute buat panggilan. Orang yang kenal akan kata, "as expected. she's always like that."

Betul lah.

Kerana itu sifat itu sudah banyak hati yang terluka, terasa dan marah. And as usual, terima saja dengan pasrah segala marah dan sampah yang orang baling. Itu kan salah sendiri.

Tak apa. Paksa jugak diri untuk berubah. Sekuat mungkin. Sampai penat.

Tak apa.

Cerita Dia.

Kelmarin keluar berjumpa teman. Berkongsi cerita (sebetulnya dia yang banyak berkongsi, saya sekadar mendengar) tentang kehidupan. Clearly we have different views about life. Bukan saja pandangan, cara hidup pun tak sama.

Tapi ada sesuatu tentang dia yang yang buat saya rasa sangat interested untuk masih berkawan dengannya. Tapi jauh di sudut hati, we both know; ada satu tembok lutsinar yang tak bisa ditembusi melainkan dia berubah. dan dia masih tak bersedia. So we can't even be bestfriend. The closest one will be; close friend.

Jujurnya, mendengar cerita dia membuatkan saya banyak membuat reflection dalam kehidupan sendiri. I have a although not-so-well-planned-life, tapi kehidupan saya nampak seperti garis lurus di atas kertas putih yang cuma ada sedikit putus-putus dan bengkang-bengkok tanpa sebarang major reconstruction in life.

A pretty much good life. Living with a good and loving family. Cukup sempurna untuk saya.

Tapi dia tidak.

Dan saya tahu, itu bukan salah keluarganya. Cuma dia yang degil dan mahu mengurus kehidupan mengikut rentak kaki sendiri. In which I assumed, not well crafted yet.

Entahlah.

I just hope, one day; dia akan realize; menjadi baik tak perlu pengiktirafan manusia. Biarlah andai ditinggal walau pun diri dah cukup baik. Allah ada perancangan tersendiri untuk kita.

Sayang bila hanya kerana cinta tak kesampaian; kehidupan harus berubah 360 darjah dan menjadi lebih buruk.

Saya bukan siapa-siapa untuk menjadi penilai. But i do hope you pass the test so that you can move on to another stage in life.

Belajar untuk kenal Tuhan.
Itu harap saya.
Kerana kita cuma hamba. with nothing. 

Getting all mushy and stupid for once.

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Sendiri.

Waktu untuk bersendiri lagi. Waktu untuk melihat dan berfikir. Melihat dan memerhati. Setiap sudut dan langkah yang telah diambil. Sama ada selari atau pincang daripada perancangan yang telah dilakar. Mungkin tidak cukup kemas.

Pasti. Masih belum cukup kemas dan tersusun.

Antara realiti sebuah kehidupan dan perasaan. Menjadi seorang realist itu kadang kala melelahkan dan memberatkan jiwa. How I wish to have back that free soul. Tapi detik hidup daripada suatu titik kepada suatu titik itu telah mengubah paradigma saya tentang kehidupan.

Walaupun tahap kematangan itu masih lagi tidak di paras sepatutnya, tetapi saya telah belajar untuk menjadi seorang yang sangat realistik.

Terlalu.

Sehingga membuatkan saya terlalu mengira apa pun. Termasuk hati dan perasaan. Bukan menjadi seorang yang terlalu berperasaan. Tetapi menjadi lebih biasa-biasa.

Drama. Sudah terlalu kurang.

Cerita. Sudah masuk kepada isi penting sahaja. Tiada lagi hiasan wall paper seperti dulu. Masih ada. Tapi terlalu kurang.


Is Love Blooms All The Way?

Honestly, I have become a lil bit reserved when it comes to this.

I am sorry..but my trust is so precious that I find it hard to give it to a guy wholly. Being a judgemental, I am taught to act and do accordingly.

Although sometimes it does slips through. One or two times. But I will never let my guard down. Never. I did once. And it was the biggest mistake I have ever done in life.

 Not to be repeated again in my  life afterwards.

You should never go beyond the boundary and line that I have put up against us. Patience is what you need in order to breakthrough the wall and gain my trust.

Because feelings are just feelings..

It doesn't promise anything.. 

And thousands words won't simply justify who and what you are. 

Only your attitude and actions will..

Only best man wins.

Enough said.

holding on and letting go. is definitely hard.

Sometimes the one we’re taking,

Changes every one before..

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't..

It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed..

Some prayers find an answer,

Some prayers never know..

We're holding on and letting go..

Sometimes we're holding angels,

And we never even know..

Don't know if we'll make it, 

But we know,

We just can't let it show...

That weird Question

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

I was once asked a question that struck like lightning to me.

"Eh bf dulu tak pernah kiss ke?"

Had make me wondered.

"Kenapa? Aneh sangat ke kalau tak pernah? Was it necessary? Did I look as if I can easily let it happened?"

"Kan dah cakap, tak boleh? Kenapa? Tak percaya?"

Replied with, "Sikit-sikitlah"

Sigh.

Nevermind. Maybe it sounds ridiculous. Or perhaps there is something that I should change about me.

It just remind me back to one conversation I had with my Mentor previously.

"You? Hiking?..you must be kidding me.."

Me, with one eyebrow raised replied, " Err..why? Do you think I didn't look tough enough for that activity?"

Chuckled, "Yeah..I think so.."

Duhh..

Letih.

Lantak kau lah nak fikir/percaya atau tak.

I am not living for you.

Now, If you will excuse me please, I have some other important stuff to be taken care of..

Three highlighted items for me this week:

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

#1. Never trust a guy as a guy. Human beings are never close to perfection.

#2. Never forget your core principle. Regardless of any situation. Your core principle is to get His blessings. Others are secondary.

#3. Don't be afraid of saying the truth & do the right things. Even if it hurts like hell or cause you to lose someone. It is better to lose someone that is not worth fighting for than losing Him. Refer to quote #2.



Conclusion: It is your responsibility to take a very good care of yourself not the other way round.

Post Ramadhan entry

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

As salam & Good day readers! ;)

Alhamdulillah.. sampai sudah ke syawal 1433H. Dan hari ini sudah 9 Syawal. Cepat betul masa berlalu. Cuti pun dah habis. Kembali ke realiti dunia bekerjaya. Dunia yang perlukan kekuatan hati & pendirian teguh. Hakikat kerja yang berdepan dengan kerenah manusia selalunya menyebabkan hati patah.

Bukan susah tak dapat menyelesaikan masalah punca utama rasa moral jatuh, tapi lebih kepada kekurangan diri yang tidak mampu untuk mengawal insan.

Bila difikir-fikirkan semula, gender dan sifat semulajadi diri itu boleh jadi satu penghalang, tembok China untuk mengurusi sesuatu perkara.

Sepanjang Syawal daripada Ramadhan, bulan berfikir. Bertafakur. Mencari diri. Titik diri yang telah hilang. Letak duduk diri sebagai hamba di hadapan Dia. Arah tuju hidup, menghala ke mana?

Pernah saya ditanya; "Berapa kali mesti calibrate diri dengan Allah?"

Jawapan saya di dalam hati: Setiap saat. Sebab saya insan lemah. Dalam transisi berubah. In the most fragile condition.

Pada satu tahap, saya begitu sibuk mengurusi perubahan diri. Tapi batu asas pada perubahan itu tidak diletakkan pada sesuatu yang hak. Saya berubah kerana saya fikir itu akan buatkan saya jadi manusia lebih baik.

common sense; it does. Tapi disebabkan kurang self-regulatory, walau tinggi mana self awareness it doesn't last long.

Maka saya teruskan pencarian, that I believe I need to hold on to the stronger and firmer branch other than myself. Definitely not to human being because human has limitation and their own capacity.

Dan saya jumpa that firm and strong branch. I do. Dalam pencarian melalui pengalaman sepanjang ramadhan. Rupanya sepanjang Ramadhan, Allah mengajar saya untuk menggunakan segala deria yang ada untuk belajar dan mengambil pengajaran daripada keadaan sekeliling. Ya, kembali menggunakan segala deria yang ada.

Malah Allah juga  mengajar saya untuk berfikir keluar daripada terowong. Sedikit demi sedikit. Jujur ia tidak mudah. Sayangnya Allah pada hambaNya, Dia hantar seorang hambaNya yang telah Dia didik untuk mendidik saya pula. Dan untuk itu, saya sangat bersyukur di atas nikmat ini. Dan berterima kasih teramat kepada insan tersebut.

Dan saya percaya sepenuhnya, untuk mempunyai SQ yang cukup itu tidak susah. Kerana agama ini fitrah. Sesuai dengan sifat manusia. Tetapi untuk memupuk EQ dan IQ itu tidak mudah. Namun, melalui SQ yang mantap, EQ dan IQ akan dapat dipupuk dengan lebih mudah.

Buka mata dan hati.

You'll definitely see it. Insya Allah.

Hadiah untuk syawal ini untuk kita sama-sama hayati:



semoga Allah menerima amal kita sepanjang ramadhan dan kebaikan ramadhan ini dapat dibawa ke sebelas bulan seterusnya, insya Allah.

Bulan dimanjakan Allah

As salam dan selamat semua.. ;)

Alhamdulillah..sudah masuk fasa terakhir..tp nampak gayanya gear dah menurun.. ;(

Sepanjang ramadhan ini, terasa benar dimanjakan Dia..bila hampir semua persoalan dihantar jawapan olehNya dengan cara yang tak tersangkakan..subhanallah..

Terima kasih ya Allah...lama rasanya tidak merasai manja itu denganMu..

Bukan sudah tiada..tapi jarang-jarang..cuma ramadhan ini cukup dimanjakan rasanya oleh Mu..

Izinkan hati ini untuk berteduh dibawah lembayung kasihMu..dan memegang erat tali Mu kembali sebagaimana eratnya ia suatu waktu dulu..

Momento-momento di sepanjang ramadhan kali ini akan saya genggam kejap di dalam jiwa..tak kan terlepas lagi..


Teringat di suatu malam, saya terjaga daripada tidur apabila disergah suatu suara di dalam mimpi...

"Nampak luaran seperti bagus..lengkap..tapi di dalam...sebenarnya..kosong..!"

Biarlah mungkin itu cuma mainan tidur atau manifestasi minda separa sedar yang kecewa..

Tetapi saya mengambilnya sebagai suatu teguran..

Basic foundation untuk diperkukuhkan kembali..kualiti persembahan pengabdian juga harus dibelek semula..

Pendek kata, saya buang semuanya dahulu kerana tidak tahu yang mana prioriti, yang mana silap dan yang mana benar..dan saat ini masih sedang mengutip semula item satu per satu..

sambil membuat verification...sama ada itu penting d n cara penggunaannya betul atau tidak..

Semoga langkah ini terpimpin Tuhanku..

Amin ya Rabb..

posted from Bloggeroid

Love & Detachment

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Selepas membaca artikel daripada Tariq Ramadhan bertajuk Love and Detachment. Saya terdiam. Berfikir. Often the object that we loved becomes our attachment. Our very focus until sometimes we lost our true self through it.

Love is an initiatory school in which we learn to make progress, to rise above ourselves and then to free ourselves, but it can also be a prison in which we are bound by more and more chains. We go under, get lost and eventually become totally dependent... -Tariq Ramadhan

Tak mudah untuk detach diri daripada sesuatu yang kita sukai dan cintai. It was way hard. Tapi tak mustahil. Sama ada kita sanggup. Atau pun tidak.

Love is therefore like education. It involves “going with” and learning to detach ourselves with an ever-greater awareness of the ambivalence of things and of the need for balance, which is always so difficult to achieve and so fragile.. 

To love without being dependent. Nothing could be more difficult, and doing so requires a long apprenticeship that is both demanding and sometimes painful. The goal is to love without any illusions. That is all the more difficult in that we sometimes have the impression that love means being deluded. How can we graduate from the illusion of love to the lucidity of love? How can we detach ourselves from the very thing to which we are, by definition, attached? One does not choose to love but one can choose how to love. Nature is the mirror before which we must raise our faces, gaze into proximity and distance, in the knowledge that, whilst we are now fully present, the earth will give the same fullness to others as it sanctifies our absence. The mirror of time and the infinite spaces reflect it, the liberated self understands it, and the One repeats it: to love is to be there, in proximity to the extraordinary in the ordinary, and to offer, give and forgive. To love is to reconcile the sedentary presence with nomadic migration, the roots of the tree with the strength of the winds. To love is to receive and to learn to let beings go. To love is to give and to learn to go. And vice versa.. -Tariq Ramadhan

Definisi Cinta?


Mencintai bermakna bersedia melepaskan, bersedia berkorban dan berusaha untuk menjadi lebih baik demi Pencipta Cinta itu sendiri.

It is our nature to love..to love things, human being  and other living things as well. But we can always choose  how to love them all..

Dan saya tahu, untuk kali ini saya harus belajar mencintai dengan cara yang lain. Bukan seperti kebiasaan..ia harus penuh dengan kebaikan, membawa kepada kebaikan dan mengubah kita kepada kebaikan.. How? that is my job to determine and definitely with His guidance as well..

The Test

Upon this coming ramadhan, He puts me on a test. In which I am still indecisive at the moment. It wasn't actually a heavy one if it excludes feelings and emotions. By right, I have already had the answer in my heart. It is just the matter of delivering it only. But I don't have that strength. yet. Macam mana nak melepaskan pergi benda yang kita dah nanti beberapa lama dan benda yang paling kita sukai disebabkan situasi tidak begitu mengizinkan..?

Not that easy..


The Imperfect Life

Seperti Joker yang mempunyai 2 wajah berbeza, seperti itulah kehidupan. Hidup ini tak pernah sempurna dan tak akan sempurna. There will always be happily never after.

Because that happily ever after is only exists in Jannah. :) Di situ destinasi hidup kita sebenar-benarnya..dari awal lagi..

Sebab itulah mencintai itu tak pernah happily ever after.it is always a mixed of feelings and is an on going learning process of being the best person we should always be..


Hadiah untuk hati sendiri dan yang sedang membaca, something for us to ponder along this ramadhan kareem;

"jika engkau merasa bahwa segala yang disekitarmu gelap dan pekat, tidakkah dirimu curiga bahwa engkaulah yang dikirim oleh Allah untuk menjadi cahaya bagi mereka? berhentilah mengeluhkan kegelapan itu, sebab sinaranmulah yang sedang mereka nantikan, maka berkilaulah! "

-Salim A.Fillah-

Mind Lucidity..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

As salam and morning dear readers (if any.. hehe)

Alhamdulillah, sampai sudah kita ke 17 Ramadhan. Selangkah lagi ke fasa akhir Ramadhan. Masya Allah. Inilah Ramadhan paling lama dirasakan di hati. Dan ada ibrah penting yang saya kutip kali ini..

Ramadhan 2012..

Jujur dari hati, saya fikirkan mungkinkah ini Ramadhan terakhir berstatus 'Single'? Mungkin saja. Allah itu Maha Pengatur, dan aturanNya itu kadang-kadang out of the blue dan tanpa disangka-sangka. Mana tahu dapat hadiah jatuh dari langit ramadhan kali ni?.. Hem. Berangan kan?

Ramadhan 2005-2008..

Sepanjang-panjang 4 tahun itu saya berpuasa bersama teman baik merangkap roomate di UTP, terlalu banyak kenangan tercipta yang kebanyakannya sudah terurai dari kotak memori. Tetapi kenangan bersama nasi lemak kukus pasti akan tetap terpahat di hati. He.

Manakan tidak, sehati sejiwalah katakan, sehingga setiap kali berbuka 7-8 ringgit untuk sebungkus nasi lemak kukus V5 itu sudah menjadi lumrah. Sampaikan pakcik jual nasi lemak pun sudah faham kerenah kami berdua.

Kadang-kala sampai berkongsi 3-4 orang sebungkus! Indah kenangan dulu. Berkongsi makanan itu sungguh salah satu cara terbaik mengeratkan hubungan. Ada keberkatan di situ yang Allah turunkan, sama ada kita sedar atau pun tidak..

Masjid An-Nur indah bercahaya pun mulai penuh dengan jemaah UTP saat azan isyak berkumandang. Dan selalunya menggigil nak bersolat di situ dek kerana aircond yang kuat dan lantai marmar yang membeku. Di situ lah tempat teraman dan paling damai di bumi UTP.

Tempat yang saya rasakan sebagai kubu paling selamat, jauh dari segala ketegangan dan stress disebabkan assignments, meeting dan project yang tak berhenti.

Tidak ada apa yang boleh mengganggu gugat tenteram dalam hati yang saya cari dari Dia.

Dan tanpa saya sedar, saya kehilangan kubu paling aman itu setelah graduasi..

Ramadhan 2009..

Saya habiskan di kampung menemani nenek. Berdua, makan ala kadar saja. Pernah sekali, saya kepingin maggie kari sebagai juadah berbuka. Benar, tidak semeriah seperti di rumah dan UTP dengan pelbagai kuih-muih dan lauk pauk dan makan sekadar apa..Itu cukup buat saya.

Kerana yang penting bukan berapa banyak makanan yang kita ada, tetapi dengan siapa dan hasil air tangan siapa itu yang lebih bermakna.

Hujung minggu, lebih meriah kerana seluruh keluarga besar kembali berkumpul..

Walaupun saat itu saya sepatutnya telah bekerja , tetapi saya memilih untuk tinggal di kampung dengan nenek. Duduk dan menemaninya. Melayan kerenah dan celotehnya tanpa henti tu. Membawa nenek ke mana-mana yang dia ingin pergi dan berjalan.

Kerana saya tahu, sampai waktu saya sudah bekerja nanti, saya tak akan punyai waktu yang sebanyak ini lagi untuk menemaninya. Tak akan punyai waktu yang cukup untuk sentiasa di sisinya, mendengar celoteh dan belajar tentang erti hidup dengannya.

Dan bukan nenek saja yang saya temani sebenarnya. 2 orang lagi nenek saudara pun turut sama memeriahkan rumah nenek. Melihat mereka, terdetik di hati saya tentang betapa sunyinya hati seorang ibu. Anak-anak yang jauh di bandar, sibuk bekerja. Entah dengan siapa hendak bercerita agaknya.

Untung mereka bertiga. Dan ada saya untuk melayan dan membuat lawak sengal. He. Dan saya bersyukur sangat dengan keputusan saya saat itu.

Kerana itulah ramadhan terakhir yang saya bisa luangkan sepenuhnya bersama salah seorang nenek saudara.

Dan walaupun sekadar menemani, saya belajar sesuatu..paling bermakna dari Allah..


"Happiness is contagious..when you make someone happy, you'll feel it too inside your heart.."

Lebih-lebih lagi dengan keluarga sendiri. Yang memang Allah tuntut sangat. Dan walaupun apa yang kita lakukan itu tak seberapa pun sebenarnya. Bahkan tanpa melibatkan wang ringgit dan material yang cantik dan mahal.

Ramadhan 2010...

Adalah yang paling mencabar. Kerana setiap hati di dalam keluarga kami berusaha untuk bertabah menghadapi dugaan hidup. Berbicara tentang arwah adik bagaikan suatu larangan buat saya kerana saya tidak cukup kuat untuk melupakan sedih itu.

Terasa benar lohong kosong di dalam hati atas kehilangan yang tak pernah terganti..

Namun saya belajar suatu perkara terpenting di atas kehilangan ini;

"Don't wait for the right moment to show or say your love to your loved ones..do it constantly and continuously..because while waiting for the right moment, you might loose the person him/herself.."

Satu saat yang telah berlalu, tak akan pernah sama dengan satu saat yang kita hadapi sekarang atau yang akan kita miliki nanti..

Allah sendiri telah terangkan tentang hakikat masa ini dalam surah Al-Asr.

Demi Masa! (1)

Sesungguhnya manusia itu benar-benar berada dalam kerugian(2)

Kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan mengerjakan amal soleh dan nasihat menasihati supaya mentaati kebenaran dan nasihat menasihati supaya menetapi kesabaran(3)

Ramadhan 2011...

Mengajar saya bahawa kehidupan itu mesti seimbang..dan sampai saat ini, saya masih lagi struggling di antara  dua..

Dan kosong hati itu tak akan pernah terisi dengan seribu segala isi dunia..dan tidak akan pernah kita dapat penuhinya daripada hati-hati yang juga kosong..

Berbalik kepada Ramadhan 2012..

Seandainya bisa, sudah lama ingin saya buat masjid hopping bersama Roommate. Atau backpacking! he. Ok, ni tipu. 

Selepas beberapa peristiwa berlaku yang membawa kepada pertapaan nun jauh di celah hutan sana, membawa saya berfikir dari segala sudut, dan aspek hidup. Tentang hala tuju sebenar-benarnya, tentang perancangan seterusnya dan expected insight and result..

Yang mana setiap kali berfikir, segala yang pernah diterapkan oleh seseorang comes to my sense as the most logical and practical things. And it is always like that. 

Self-awareness, Regulatory, EQ..semuanya menuntut perhatian buat masa ini. Dan semoga setiap langkah yang diambil tidak terhenti di tengah jalan..insya Allah.

Dan saya tahu asbab kenapa Allah let our life cross each other. Untuk belajar sesuatu daripada mereka yang saya perlukan di dalan hidup dan untuk memberikan sesuatu kepada mereka yang Allah telah ajarkan kepada saya sebelumnya..

Cuma along the way, saya kehilangan apa yang saya ada. So it is truly unfair jika hanya menjadi penerima, which is i am at the moment. Siapa pun akan merasa letih dengan situasi itu. 

I am still trying to gain back what I have lost along the way..

Semoga sentiasa dikuatkan Allah untuk mujahadah ini..yang western panggil Self Improvement & development..

Thursday the 13th

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

*senyum.

Alhamdulillah..finally the holy month has arrived. Though I had tough times earlier to adjust my timing and fit in new schedule and activities, but alhamdulillah through out the past 10 days, I have finally came to a more stable phase.

This time around, I tried to make a difference. Probably because I have had realize that each secs that passes us by will never be the same. That 24 hours that we have today, is differs with the past 24 hours we had yesterday.

Common sense, I know. But how many people ever realize about this truly?

the past few days was a thrill for me. Something came up unexpectedly. Something that I have even forgotten  how to handle exactly.

I dont even know what to expect. But I do know He always has the best plan for me. And for that, I will never stop praying for His guidance towards every steps taken in this life, as the only thing that matters the most for me in this life is His blessings and never ending love.

I could never count how many times have I ever stops trying and falling out of hopes, and the only thing that I  have was my faith on Him that He still believes and giving me chances when people around already giving up on me..

if I just lay here, would you lay with me and just forget the world?...

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

along the way, I started to feel I need to move myself out from this very same loop..

the out of box life threatening question..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Yesterday my fav brother asked me one question. "how do you know what you wanna do in life?". I was surprised by the question.

Because honestly? I dont have the structured and direct answer. If I know the real truth how..I would have gone somewhere and not living in Malaysia. Probably living somewhere outside, doing what I really want to do the most.

But no. I am still here, routing my journey just so that I will finally soon realize what I want to do in life. Routing and navigating. And even sometimes I do make some u-turns.

Nowadays I have problems understanding people and their needs. And due to the eagerness of answering the popped out question, I made sort of so-called 'fairy tales' answer; "ask your heart.."

You will probably think that I am just another hopeless romantic girl that live with all the wonders and magical events that life could offers.

* this is the mumbling part* Literally, yeah I might be one. But if you could read between the lines, that is not what I mean in the first place.

Okay back to the question; Sometimes, we can't just figured out everything using all the practical knowledge we have in us.

I don't have the real answer..I don't even know what is the right answer for that..the only one who can help is Him..He'll give you the answer if you asked Him..maybe not through me, maybe through someone else. Or maybe through an event in your life...maybe through your thinking..

• We can plan everything in our life. From plan A to Z..but if things don't go our way, it means He wants us to learn something else first, or probably that is just not the best planning because He has something more for us.

• Remember to always leave some portion that He has the final decision for us in our life. Redha, pasrah dan tawakkal..these are the three words that we always fail to understand their true meaning..

• Even in statistic, we rarely give 100 for confident interval. The most is 99. Practically it is always 95% on whatever calculation, improvement or forecasting that we make. There will always be chances of failing or the needs to re-routing from the current journey that we are living through now..unless we are just too lazy to leave our comfort zone..it can be 100 then..

ps: I am not making this entry to answer anybody's question..

posted from Bloggeroid

Key Point #1: How much have you done to make your parents happy?

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

As salam and Good Morning bloggers!

Yesterday was really worth spending. Well, the time that you spend with your family is indeed invaluable. It has been quite a hectic week for me previously because I need to expedite the containment and reworked process just so all the stranded units for delivery can be delivered to customers soonest. 

Giving the responsibility to rectify all the damages done due to improper process control, it really takes alot from me. Not that I'm complaining because I need to do all those dirty works too like the operators but because I am not that fit and athletic, and before long after I had my shower, prayer and dinner I could easily fall asleep within 5 secs! Thus, has changed my routine entirely. I even started to feel like I have becoming a zombie. Going to work without even thinking and planning properly the whole day.

However, I am not planning to let myself trap in this loop forever. Definitely. It is going to last the most up to two weeks only. (Well, there is another unit to be rectified too!).

Okay, back to the main point of existence of this entry, for every minutes spent yesterday got me thinking and made me asking myself about life that I am living now.

Key Point #1: How much have you done to make your parents happy?

Yesterday I was not going back to my parents house. I was going back to my kampung (village) together with my best-estfriend because we're going to have sorta small eat-together ( that is what my mom said previously) with the whole big family. Not only siblings from my mom's side. But also including my grandma's brothers' families.

And apparently, it wasn't actually small. It was a sort of Kenduri Doa Selamat, Yassin & Tahlil where you also called your neighbours and we had about in total almost a hundred guests! (excluding the kids, mind you)

 Inaccurate info ma.. *geleng kepala.

Okay, so after the lunch ended, all of us were having our own sweet time resting ourselves wherever applicable around the house. I was siting in front of the tv watching something that I was not actually paying any attention of when suddenly I realized that my dad was sleeping soundly not so near besides me.

I was looking at him for about one or two minutes, busy scrutinizing his greyish-turned-to-white hair and finely visible wrinkles around his eyes and cheeks, then something came out of my mind.

"How old is abah now?..erm...50 something? nearly a pensioner for few more years..".., I thought.

And I came to realization that how fast time flies..

"How long have I been working now..?..2 years..and what did I do to repay him and mak back?...", My expression turned a bit sour.

When the second question struck me, I was totally speechless..

Apart from still being financially unstable, I was not also able to give them my time..up until now..


I only had 10 solid years  living with them while the rest of 16 years were incomplete because there were times where I had to live apart from them. 

When I was still studying, I thought that I could repay them back by spending my time with them, do everything they asked me to, providing them things that I should as a child.

But after graduating, I still find it hard to be there with them as I planned earlier.

And what makes my heart breaks is that I still haven't done anything significant to repay them back while they're still giving me the same care, time, unconditional love, timeless advice and wisdom as parents.

Then I realized that this coming Ramadhan might be the last Ramadhan for us..

 So today, I decided to really change my routine and try to spend as much time available with them. Because apparently, each secs left is irreplaceable and I might not have much time left with them anymore..

untuk hati..yang selalu lupa..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Hari ini sebelum kita mengatakan kata-kata yang tidak baik,
Fikirkan tentang seseorang yang tidak dapat berkata-kata sama sekali.

Sebelum kita mengeluh tentang rasa dari makanan,
Fikirkan tentang seseorang yang tidak punya apapun untuk dimakan.

Sebelum anda mengeluh tidak punya apa-apa,
Fikirkan tentang seseorang yang meminta-minta dijalanan.

Sebelum kita mengeluh bahawa kita buruk,
Fikirkan tentang seseorang yang berada pada keadaan yang terburuk di dalam hidupnya.

Sebelum mengeluh tentang suami atau isteri anda,
Fikirkan tentang seseorang yang memohon kepada Tuhan untuk diberikan teman hidup.

Hari ini sebelum kita mengeluh tentang hidup,
Fikirkan tentang seseorang yang meninggal terlalu cepat.

Sebelum kita mengeluh tentang anak-anak kita,
Fikirkan tentang seseorang yang sangat ingin mempunyai anak tetapi dirinya mandul.

Sebelum kita mengeluh tentang rumah yang kotor kerana pembantu tidak mengerjakan tugasnya,
Fikirkan tentang orang-orang yang tinggal dijalanan.

Dan di saat kita letih dan mengeluh tentang pekerjaan,
Fikirkan tentang pengangguran, orang-orang cacat yang berharap mereka mempunyai pekerjaan seperti kita.

Sebelum kita menunjukkan jari dan menyalahkan orang lain,
Ingatlah bahawa tidak ada seorangpun yang tidak berdosa.

Dan ketika kita sedang bersedih dan hidup dalam kesusahan,
Tersenyum dan berterima kasihlah kepada Tuhan bahawa kita masih hidup!


*found this through blog-walking..


ps: kita selalu terlupa, bahawa hakikat diri kita dan segala nikmat ini..bukan selamanya milik kita..bahkan tidak pernah jadi milik kita secara mutlaknya. ia hanya pinjamam semata-mata..dan atas dasar hak apa untuk kita merasa bahawa kita adalah yang terbaik di antara selautan manusia sedangkan di hadapan Dia, entah di mana letak duduk diri kita yang sebenar-benarnya..

brick walls are there for a reason..

recently, i have gone through a roller coaster weekly life like i have mentioned in the earlier post..

well, nothing much differ here this week..and it got me stuck with these temperamental attitude for a while..

i thought life would be much easier if i can manage my own tasks well. it ended up that i have people that i need to cater or my leadership skill will be rated as terribly bad. that is the last thing i want after the yo-yo quality result.

the past few days, i have started to read this book title 'the last lecture'. it was written by a professor named Randy Pausch from Carnegie Mellon.

this book like the other book titled 'the simple truth' by Ken Nerburn which i read few months ago had taught me lessons in which i miserably failed to understand due to my lack of common sense and ignorant attitude when i faced events in my life..

unlike 'simple truth' that led me to see life on the other perspective..merely more on the spiritual side, the last lecture simply taught me the 360 view..which my brother has fought hard to instill in me until he finally gave up recently..

on one chapter, i found his phrase were quite interesting.. " brick walls are there for a reason. they give us chance to show how badly we want something..'

the moment i came across this phrase, it remind me how easy i was before this giving up whenever i found myself stuck in middle of life journey and always re-routing my direction because i thought there was no way out. the fact is: it is merely a self escapism because i cant handle pressure. i mean too much pressure. and i cant take the consequences if my plan fails miserably..

i guess i need to finish up this book real fast before i can come to a conclusion on what to really matters to me in life and how to navigate myself towards achieving things that i want the most in life..

nevertheless, i wont settle for second best. that is for sure..

posted from Bloggeroid

a not so proper update.

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Hello there! as salam..

It has been few months with out any proper update. I have been to occupied with something else that it has taken my prio to write a post. or maybe i just dont think i have something interesting to share with at the moment.

but after reading some of the blogs (currently). i know i need to write something. life has been a lil bit roller coaster with all those mood swing and temperamental attitude. after 26 years old living with all these traits, it is not that easy to change everything up, you know?

i think due to my constraint and limited time which only focusing on certain things and people, i have let out time to fly without doing things that i love and enjoy the most. in fact, i have stop trying out new activities. therefore, starting this weekend, im gonna make sure i will do some work out to lose weight ( which i think i have, in improper way), tone up muscles and get fit!

poor shoes! beli mahal-mahal tapi berhabuk dalam rumah je. haih. Okay, let's have some squashy time this weekend then! =)

I miss the adrenaline rush already..

the abnormality

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

sibuk membaiki diri..terlupa menyiram hati sendiri. sibuk membaiki diri demi dunia, terlupa hakikat pengabdian diri pada Allah itu harus mencakupi segala aspek kehidupan.

Ya Allah,

Ingatkan aku di kala aku lalai,
Tarik tanganku di saat langkahku tersasar dari landasan yang telah Engkau tetapkan,

Ya Allah,

Aku bukan siapa-siapa di mataMu,
Aku cuma hamba yang miskin, lemah dan serba kekurangan,

Tetapi aku pohon cuma satu ya Allah,

pandanganMu untuk ku tak pernah hilang,

I cant lie to myself. And this is killing me inside. sigh..

apa yang mampu aku jawab di hadapanMu nanti andai Engkau bertanyakan tentang segala nikmat yang telah diberikan Mu, Tuhanku?...

frustration is nil now.

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

*tiup habuk.

hm...nampak gayanya page ni dah berhabuk. sangat. and i have lost my touch in writing. lost it all. i have something in mind, but couldn't write it down in a constructive manner. maybe i should just write it down in my red velvet book.

*kecewa. sebab tak dapat menulis. lagi.

ps: kalau dalaman pun kering dan perlu disiram. lupakan hasrat untuk menyiram dan membasahi hati-hati di luar sana. hati sendiri lebih crucial untuk dijaga terlebih dahulu.

pss: even if you still dont have faith in me, it doesnt matter now. because i know He sees it. and i know He knows up to the microscopic level how much effort i have poured for this and still giving my best to change. as long as i know He still give me chances, believe in me and know i have changed, it doesn't matter even if nobody have faith in me.

sebab hidup ini demi Dia. (sepatutnya) and that guidance given is appreciated. cuma mungkin expectation terlalu tinggi within limited time?

what is life?

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

today i woke up, thinking what life is all about?

the past few days i had a talk, discussing what kind of planning..i mean life planning that i have for myself. to be honest? nil. not a solid one. a rough sketch? yes. but a definite and perfect one? no.

and that makes me realize, we can't just simply plan our whole life when u just don't know how to picture yourself after 20 years time. what i really want in this life? i have no idea. maybe i just lost it somewhere. tertinggal di mana-mana.

in 2010, i have slowly construct my own mindset. but unfortunately along the way, it was all destroyed due to too many reasons. but the main rootcause was; because i dont have that strong and bold personality. my personality is changeable. according to situation if it is affecting people. unconscious self-sacrificing. or too diplomatic in a very bad way.

i am really a peaceful phlegmatic person at heart. sigh.

right now, everytime i go to sleep i will give myself a moment. to think. what kind of day i would like myself to have tomorrow? what can i do to improve myself in anyway? what can i give to other people so that i can always make myself helpful for others around me. in other way, to keep me independent at all times.

when we become the giver, we will be less dependent. because that needs us to be more proactive, taking out  more responsibilities, learning how to control situations, forces us to think in a different way. looking at all the possible angles.verifying back all the consequences for all the decisions we take.

in simple explanation; we learned how to plan, do, act and checking back in the right and correct way. (supposedly). this what i do recently. to improve myself.

and what i should do next; is to create back my life planning. theoretically, by using the house construction diagram.

well, at this age im pretty sure i know what i want. it is just i need to properly construct them back. i think im in my comfort zone already. i need to get out of it now.

A Song For You

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Dear Sister,

Yesterday, You told me about the stages in ukhuwwah,

It was the very first thing i learned when i joined this circle called 'happy family' 

back in 2006.

Thank you for reminding me about the forgotten tale,

That a sahabah is someone who will not only  stay by your side,

when needed..

But also a someone,

who constantly reminding you when you forget things you shouldn't,

A person who can sings back the song to you,

when you have forgotten the lyrics,

Someone who will shed tears for you,

Not because of pity..

but because she could also feel the pain and heavy feelings you have inside,

even when you haven't told her yet..

Who will be in deep sorrow,

 when your path sometimes goes astray,

But all in all,

a true friend, is someone who never fails to remember  you,

in everything she do,

in every prayer she recites,

in every moment she lives,

you're there inside her heart..

even with countless sacrifices she made,

she'll never remind you back,

because for her,

your happiness and lite up face,

has given her the indescribable happiness..

in life..

thank you for the unconditional love, that only family could've give..

So i sing this song as a memory
Close your eyes listen to this
Sing along, can you remember me? oh yea
This was for you a long time back
And its still for you, today i stand
where the stars shine for you

And everything that went away
Let them all go away
cause i am here for you today

Close your eyes
Listen to me
Listen to the song that i wrote for you
You know its true
That i am here for you
All i want is for you to be here with me

So i sing this song for you and me
Close your eyes listen to this
Sing along, now can you see? oh yea 


This was for you all my life
And its still for you, today i stand
where i sing for you


ps: this one is also for every person who holds special place in my heart..a promise not to be forgotten..

hello friday!

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

What is exactly strategic thinking?

I tried to download some journals from Sciencedirect about this topic, but apparently it costs me money in which I am unwilling to pay. *yea..kedekut gile untuk ilmu (but FOC items look much more tempting!) lol. anyway, I should thank my lil brother for teaching and guiding me on this matter.

*hugs.

on the other hand, i am trying to get everything under control at the moment. definitely trying my best!. walaupun lembap sikit daripada kura-kura.

second item is that, yes..i am too occupied with my own life. i should not let working life take over my whole life. including my precious time with my own family.

i miss home.

very much.

ps: personal issue is not my priority at the moment. i am done thinking. for something that is beyond my control where i have less than 50% control over it, i will not overdo or overthink like i used to before. God is there for me, isnt it? As-Sami'..i know He heard me. and always hears me. definitely!.

*smile.

random thoughts

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

The 3 Things in life that we should know;

That is why these logic should be apply in life;  

because apparently:

credits to my friend; i found this on her FB page. ;)

rambling..p1

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

I have been too occupied with work and events in my life these past few weeks. also have been in the all-so-stressed-mode until i fall sick. well, it wasn't totally about work. there is also a personal issue that needed me to straightened out myself. in which required me to be perfectly in rational mode.

*hembus nafas.

i guess i cant fight my conscience. because it was the core value and my principle in life. you cant just simply throw away something that you have been holding and believing for years.

it's like the only branch that you hold and you trust with all your heart, it wont break no matter how hard the tornado hits. and i grow up holding this values, which shaped me to be who i am today. what am i supposed to do when i need go against my own morale values? it's killing me inside. fullstop.

i hate struggling. and i hate going through harsh and hard moment in life. it is not hard in a physical way actually. but it kills my passion about life eventually. *yeah, i  know i am nagging about things now. literally. without telling exactly what the problem is.

never mind, will try to work it out later. i will put it under pending item. important, but not urgent. the urgency should be put on my unsettled zillion tasks (im a drama queen, huh?).  but whatever it is, i need to starts planning my work this weekend. maybe it will cost me a day or two. at least it will clear me out from those pending tasks.

my responsibilities are getting heavier. i notice that myself. and i wonder why was i given this responsibilities when i am not ready yet?. maybe i need to speed up my reading so i can read up more books by the end of next month. kenapa nak baca buku tiba-tiba? dan apa kena mengena buku dengan responsibility?

well, simply said, to gain more and moooreee knowledge! kepala dah berkarat bila berfikir tanpa pertambahan ilmu yang sepatutnya. and recently, apa yang selalu dibincangkan was all about work. and work. and yeah, some gossips to spice up the life. *giggles. just kidding.

im tired. if this year i still cant manage to my work well, maybe it is time to think about alternative. but one of my colleague said, that was an escapism. the easy way out. yeah, couldn't agree more with him. but on the other hand, if this escapism can increase my capability and strength and improve my overall values, why not?

it is still an option. isn't it?

this is definitely for you..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

it is whether i am too attached to you. or i am too dependent on you. but unfortunately, i'm starting to miss you even more when the weekend is coming..

and regardless of who ever is staying besides me, life doesn't seems complete to me. there's a hole that nobody can ever fill it just no matter how or what they do.

i guess, you really are my soulmate! my bff & my sister!

damn, i really miss your presence in this house even more now. sebab satu hari ni apparently i didn't get your report of what happened today.

susah bila you can't lose either one of these important people in your life no matter what. sigh.

hopefully time can pass by quicker than it should!

ps: it's the 100th post! congratulations to me, myself and i. heh. working life seems to look even more stress than it has ever been before. it is either with the jobs, the people, or the system itself. i guess nothing is perfect in this life. even so, i will still try to do the best i should. it is not about getting someone else's attention nor trying to look as if i am the best among all. it is about getting the satisfaction level that i want in things that i do. that matters the most at the moment. 

change is constant..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

when we say things like, people don't change..

it drives scientists crazy..

because change is literally the only constant in all of science..


energy..matter..

it always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying..


it's the way people try not to change that is unnatural..

the way we cling to what things were instead of letting it be with what they are..

the way we cling to our memories instead of forming a new ones..

the way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication..

that anything in this lifetime is permanent.

change is constant.

how we experience change?

 that is up to us. it can be like a death...

or it can be a second chance to a life..

if we open our fingers,

losing our grip,

and go with it...

it can be like pure adrenalin..


like in any moment, we can have another chance in life...

like in any moment, we can be born.. all over again..

-meredith grey; grey's anatomy s07e01-

"what happen to us, is only 10%. 90% is how we react to it.."

Life is..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

I know He will never breaks His promise. And thus I will not stop praying until He answers it. That faith I have for Him, should be a solid one without any doubts. But as His imperfect servant, there are times when it starts to shake.

Saya kah yang tidak cukup bersabar menanti keputusan pasti? Atau permintaan itu bukan yang terbaik di waktu ini? Looking at the condition now, I am pretty sure that this is the best one. Tapi jawapan itu terhenti bersama perkataan ini..

"Bersabarlah..kerana Dia sedang mempersiapkan yang terbaik buat kamu.."

Jika kesabaran itu harga bagi sebuah harapan dan doa, maka itu lah yang akan saya genggam kukuh. erat. tanpa lepas. penuh yakin. semampu pasti.

Cuma berharap, hati tidak goyah menanti sebuah kepastian.

ps: I  need my BFF badly to help me see through all the possibilities and options available. *kerut dahi berfikir.

during sleepless night..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

okay. this is the third night, I woke up during midnight. dan hilang rasa kantuk yang sepatutnya wujud demi untuk membolehkan mata terpejam dan otak berehat.

This is gonna affect my body clock later. not a good sign. By the way, im in love with all the songs in Glee. I know. I know. Orang dah lama suka baru sibuk nak suka jugak. kan?

Let's enjoy with the selected youtube videos. Look for the meaning in between the lyrics. *winks!

And oh! there is something useful I want to share..

"Giving is a miracle that can transform the heaviest of hearts. Two people, who moments before lived in separate worlds of private concerns, suddenly meet each other over a simple act of sharing. The world expands, a moment of goodness is created, and something new comes into being where before there was nothing.

To often we are blind to this everyday miracle. We build our lives around accumulation--of money, of possessions, of status--as a way of protecting ourselves and our families from the vagaries of the world. Without thinking, we begin to see giving as an economic exchange--a subtracting of something from who and what we are--and we weigh it on the scales of self-interest.

But true giving is not an economic exchange, it is a generative act. It does not subtract from what we have; it multiplies the effect we can have in the world.

Many people tend to think of giving only in terms of grand gestures. They miss the simple openings of the heart that can be practiced anywhere with almost anyone.

We can say hello to someone everybody ignores. We can offer to help a neighbor. We can buy a bouquet of flowers and take it to a nursing home, or spend an extra minute talking to someone who needs our time.

We can take ten dollars out of our pocket and give it to someone on the street. No praise, no hushed tones of holy generosity. Just give, smile, and walk away.

If you perform these simple acts, little by little you will start to understand the miracle of giving. You will begin to see the unprotected human heart and the honest smiles of human happiness. You will start to feel what is common among us, not what separates and differentiates us.

Before long you will discover that you have the power to create joy and happiness by your simplest gestures of caring and compassion. You will see that you have the power to unlock the goodness in other people's hearts by sharing the goodness in yours.

And, most of all, you will find the other givers. No matter where you live or where you travel, whether you speak their language or know their names, you will know them by their small acts, and they will recognize you by yours. You will become part of the community of humanity that trusts and shares and dares to reveal the softness of its heart.

Once you become a giver you will never be alone."

-Simple Truth by Kent Nerburn-

Ps: Please note that you will always be my special lil giver and that you're not alone..will never be..insya Allah. *wink!